Why I am an English Education Major: Drexel University

No Reflection: An Exploratory Tale About The Effects of Spiritual Awakening in Children 

It is often said that when you don't know yourself people will tell you who you are; but how can someone tell you who you are if you don't subscribe to the concept of “you”. No one can tell me who I am because every label seeks and lacks attachment.

My skin may be richer and deeper than the majority that surrounds me, but “black” will never define me. I wear my melanin like prized jewelry. I'm aware that it adornes me; but if I were to rid myself of this jewelry who am I? As the bronze glitter and gold falls what remains?

What do I attach myself to when I am naked, shivering off the uncomfortability and uncertainty that comes from fallen golden titles? What defined my education was the realization that who I am can not be touched or classified, it can not be labeled or divided into any subsection.

HighSchool continuously forced me to rid myself of the rigidity of identity. To welcome the fear of non association with open arms, and embrace the reality that the only thing I am is pure consciousness. I was granted this caress at sixteen and have been holding onto the warmth ever since.

I walk with the spark of oneness and continuously kindle the burning fire of true awakening. This mentality has completely redirected my educational pathways and goals, this essay will define and describe where epiphany meets effect and exertion. 

  I know its banal but my spiritual awakening happened too soon. It rid me of the possibility to over identify with my ego and cultivate the necessary personality to navigate school years. I was born holding the premature seeds of metaphysical questions and quandaries. I planted these seeds as a toddler, asking about the kiss of life and the sting of death.

As I approached preadolescence my mindset thrust me into loneliness. As my physical body grew the mental distance between me and my peers grew as well . In the shadow of this distance was a desire for genuine conversation with friends that never graced our tongues.

In this separation was my indescribable awareness yet disconnection to oneness. I was tortured knowing that I could hear the melody of something greater, but could not name the song .I knew I was a piece in a greater puzzle but the picture remained blurry and distant .

As if restricted by age determined undeserving and blocked by limited comprehension. The puzzle entitled “life itself” had a steel lock on it that my teenage hands tirelessly tried to pick. It was my foolish mistake to think that the lock opened externally rather than internally.

I spent countless hours trying to make the reality of the world surrounding me make sense with what I knew internally. When all I had to do was make what I knew internally into the world of reality .The lock broke from inside out, it shattered itself and revealed a sharp and ever evolving image.

The image being so vivid, so expansive and colorful that it would be best left undescribed. Attempting to replicate its beauty through the narrow confinements of language would be the most disrespectful crime. 

What I learned is that what I speak, sew, project, and command comes back to me. How I feel internally reflects onto how I see the world, the circumstances I find myself in, and the opportunities that come to me.

This reality is simply a projection of me, every tree, every object, every person has been summoned into my life birthed by my internal projections. Simply put…. you don’t discover reality, you create reality. The only thing you experience is what you have created. You have as much as you create; And you create as much as you are willing to. 

These epiphanies led to the realization that whatever job I attained after highschool needed to be in complete flow with alignment. I wanted a job that came as naturally as oxygen does from the lungs, I wanted to breathe easy.

To feel energetically uplifted from the air of my career and not spiritually weighed and consumed. When I examined what I do every time I speak, what I naturally look to do, I discovered teaching. I constantly find myself in a perpetual state of explanation.

This is not to be mistaken as a negative connotation, I seek to explain the unexplainable to friends and family. Yearn to break indescribable topics and build a digestible and palatable foundation instead. My spiritual awakening has given me countless gifts but leading me into passion is undeniably my favorite treasure. 

As an Early Education major and future teacher, my dedication towards educating the community that surrounds me is social good within itself.  There is power in education, an ability to glimpse into the future through the eyes of its youth. There rarely exists another job where you have the opportunity to engage with the past, present, and future.

What I mean by this is your experience with yourself in relation to those around you, my existence serves as an extension of my past. I act and engage as an accumulation of the knowledge that was passed down to me.

I operate within these walls, limits, and parameters. I am confined to only what I currently know as well as my limited perception. However, children represent the future; they are sponges, pure and benevolent beings that are inevitably bound to reach greater heights than I ever could. Bound to learn facts and figures that do not exist within my span of consciousness.

So when you zoom out, when you refocus the image and look at the whole of this exchange you see the present. You see me as a reflection of the past, interacting with the potential of the future, to create the importance of the present moment.

This insight was the treasure hiding behind the once indestructible lock. The treasure that continues to fuel my passion and light my spark. The spark that grows from inside of me- and manifests into the sun that shines down on me. Everything that I have is because to this day, I am being held and embraced by oneness; continuously reminding myself that I am nothing but pure consciousness… and so are you.